Libingan ng mga Bayani. Photo courtesy of Balita.ph.
Despite of the flu, I managed to visit my elders this holiday weekend at the Himlayan and Libingan ng mga Bayani. Though feeling under the weather, I find that there is something sobering and calming about visiting our dearly departed loved ones.
Stephen Covey once said, "Begin with the End in Mind," in dealing with projects and management tasks. His wisdom though resounds to all of life.
How do you want to be remembered when you die? This is how you should start living your life.
Facing death as a reality we all must face sooner or later (hopefully much later on after a full life) puts everything into its proper perspective.
Suffering these past few days with this sickness makes me think of those who are seriously ill especially the young ones. I feel deeply for them today. I will never understand the extent of their suffering and endurance, one that is for them a daily reality. I will remember them in my prayers from now on.
There is something about shared suffering that unites humanity. Why do people suffer? This is an old-age query, a multi-faceted one. There are those who suffer because of the consequences of their actions. Others suffer from the consequences of other people's actions. How about those who suffer without having done anything wrong? They are our living saints.
Only the Lord's wisdom can answer why children suffer. All I know is that the good kind of suffering helps us to grow, builds our character, makes us truly human, in that, we become sensitive to the needs of others. The suffering of one soul is best eased by the comfort of another who has gone through the same pain and who better understands what is felt by the sufferer.
Death is a time of rest. Perhaps, it's the living that is hard to do. Yes, there is pain, but thank God there is more joy. I am grateful to feel this, too. Joy in spite of the suffering. It is a great gift. And yes, you only truly understand joy when you have endured and overcome suffering.
After all the pain felt, and a better tomorrow comes, I pray not to forget those who continue to suffer. There is something we can do, a simple helping hand, a listening ear, a smile perhaps, or a tap on the shoulder, if only to say: Everything will be all right. It will be alright. Keep the faith.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him..." (Romans 8:28)
I'm alone in the house today, nursing an eye infection from proofreading maybe too much and rubbing my eye endlessly that it got infected. I feel awful but it won't stop me from writing...advance apologies for the typos. hehe. I remember someone said that you must not let your weaknesses get in the way of what God wants you to do. We all have weaknesses but we must focus on our strengths. And so trusting in grace, I'll try writing again today.
In the last entry, I promised to share something about waiting. (Btw, thanks for waiting : ) As I was looking for an appropriate title, I discovered that a Jesuit priest beat me to it. : ) But, I couldn't have written it any better. He already said everything I could ever hope to say and more, read it here: http://sonoftheprodigal.blogspot.com/2006/02/sacrament-of-waiting.html
As for me, I am no stranger to waiting. Today, I prepared a simple lunch for myself and had to wait for a lonesome egg to get cooked. I thought if I wait, it will be cooked just right. But if I don't, it will get off the casserole, too soft. Not that I have anything against soft eggs, but it is not what hard boiled eggs are supposed to be :) Alas, we spend a lot of time waiting for things to happen, to come to pass from the simplest things to our grandest dreams.
Why God asks us to wait is a mystery. Perhaps, he is much more concerned in building our character than giving what we have prayed for immediately. He indeed can bless your prayers for success in an instant but if you are not ready to handle it, it might cause you more harm than good. If you are praying for a significant other, but are not ready for a mature relationship that requires commitment and sacrifice, you might find yourself in unnecessary pain. If you are waiting for a business deal to push through, and it still has not happened, perhaps there is something better for you just around the corner, or maybe you are being taught perseverance, which is one of the building blocks to success. We work and we wait. But sometimes, we mostly wait after we have sown the seed. We may sometimes feel like nothing is happening, but the seed is growing deep within. Waiting teaches the heart what is essential, so that when we receive what we have prayed for, we will be ready for it and we will cherish it.
There are lessons to be learned from waiting, albeit very valuable lessons. Stages, phases, we are often tempted to rush past them, cannot wait to get to the next stage of our lives, only when we get there, we can't wait for what's going to happen next.
There is beauty in waiting for it makes the trees grow sturdy and strong, it allows the sweetest fruit to be produced (hindi hinog sa pilit), and flowers bloom at their best. In these times of instant noodles and quick fixes, we tend to grow impatient at the slightest inconvenience of having to wait for something or someone.
However, you cannot force a seed to grow into a tree before its time, nor can you rush the cook in preparing your food (or the barista in preparing your coffee) if you want to have your best meal/coffee yet. For great things to happen, they must have the crucial ingredient of time, allow them to simmer for awhile so that they taste better and you are satisfied, contented.
Even children must go through their development stages. They must crawl before they can walk, otherwise if you force them to walk immediately, their muscles will become weak and they will stand feebly. The crawling makes their muscles stronger, it prepares them for standing up. We all need the time to grow, and this is why we wait. Do not skip a stage, do not take shortcuts. There is wisdom in waiting. Waiting for the right time protects us from making bad decisions and gives space for God to work in our lives and put things in order. Waiting's companion is Trust. Waiting will reward you with the best. But we must also know when to act. This requires prayer and discernment.
Waiting for me is a kind of sacrifice, simply because it is difficult and challenging. The suffering one feels is internal, like your soul is being trained. It may feel like the gnawing pain of a body that has been placed under stress or the first week of toothache when your braces get adjusted except that there is no medicine that can ease the pain of the spirit. You're seating on the edge and the waiting is killing you. We may be tempted to rush things, to skip the pain (frustration) but to do so may result to more misery in the long run. I believe the pain of waiting is temporary, and at the end of it is joy. You've heard of the cliche, haste makes waste. I agree. When you hurry, you're bound to make mistakes, and it takes more time to correct or fix things. But if you wait, plan, pray and then act, you are setting yourself up for success. I am not talking here though of indecisiveness or the paralysis of analysis, they are different things. At some point, you need to act and take the risk but make sure you are prepared.
I guess the waiting I'm talking about here is more of the waiting after you've done all that you could, when there is nothing else to do but to wait. You need to be patient in these times, open your heart and do other things. Do not worry because God is working behind the scenes on your behalf.
A personal experience I've had on suffering because of waiting happens when I meet up with my college friends. I used to feel lonely after meeting them, most of whom are happily married and in loving relationships. As I go home on my own, I feel very much alone. Oh, but I do love having times of solitude, I need these alone times, but I also have that longing for someone to share life with where joys are doubled and sorrows are halved as a Swedish proverb would say.
But wait we must, because waiting prepares us to receive the best, but I think that more importantly, it prepares us to give the best to the people who have patiently waited for us... Waiting brings us closer to God and builds our character. I still dream of having a loving, whole, happy family in the future but that can only happen if I am happy, healthy and whole myself.
Until that time comes, I shall wait patiently and enjoy every moment. Today is a gift! We must enjoy every stage in our lives and live it to the fullest. Who knows how long our life on earth will be? But I also know that God is kind and that He will be faithful to bless our dreams. Let us wait then for his perfect timing.
Leaving you now for a while with a classic song rendered by my new favorite acoustics band, Boyce Avenue, introduced to me by our 63-year old graphic designer. Wow to the band and to our rocking artist. haha. Just don't stop believing!
There are three answers to our prayers: No, Yes, but the most challenging and also the sweetest in the end is to Wait because God will give you the best when you trust him enough to wait for His best for you.
I am writing today on a borrowed computer after seven months of staying in a borrowed room where I was able to finish a little novella which I am not able to share with you yet because it badly needs editing, my apologies!
It's been over a month now since then and the previous home has been rented out to a growing family. I am now back at my parent's house and just started a new job. There were a lot of movements in my life last May and it is only now that I am settling down. Forgive me as I have been avoiding the page lately. I will do my best from now on to write more.
What I learned from being away was that anywhere was home if you're at home with yourself, if you're being true to the calling of your heart. Cliche as it is, indeed, home is where the heart is.
Another valuable lesson I learned while living on my own was that everything in life is borrowed... this laptop, this home, this life. "Possession" appears to be merely an illusion. The truth is all the things we have in life now are just temporary, merely lent to us. One day, we need to give them all back (also known as "leave them all behind").
What are we to do then with this borrowed life? To live every day well, to love and be grateful.
I have very little possessions, this is why it is easier for me to move from one place to another. I often wondered why we trouble ourselves with things and sometimes stress ourselves over them. We lose many precious minutes worrying about a car getting scratched or that cellphone getting knocked down.
I know we know that these things - are just things. We just forget sometimes. Why worry over them?We can take care well of them so that they last longer. Yet the bottom line is that they all can be replaced.
Interestingly, the only things that we get truly get to keep are the intangibles in life -- the love, the hope, the friendship, family and community. Every "thing" else passes away, or passed on to someone else. Movements, changes, they are inevitable. The less attached we are, the easier for us to keep moving forward. When we are too attached to our comforts, it will be harder for us to move on to better things. Perhaps the better investment are not things - but experiences (also called "moments" with people).
Ah, what a hard lesson to learn - this detachment. To cherish life with an open palm, always ready to give it back, to give it away - a wonderful solution to the clutter in our lives. For instance, do we really need 3 phones? If we do, are we using all of them to the maximum? Will one be enough to cover the use of the other 2?
But I digress, things can be replaced but the relationships we have are irreplaceable. The right priorities therefore are the order of the day.
Some of us struggle with "possession" or the feeling of "possessiveness," or the idea of "this is mine." I believe that we are only stewards, entrusted with gifts. The key word being "entrusted," given possessions in trust. We are to use these gifts wisely, make them grow and share them.
On a side note, I have heard someone say that even children are merely lent to us, until they must go on their way. It is sometimes difficult for parents to let go because of a sense of ownership towards their children. Parents must give their kids, roots and wings. They do not own them but they are entrusted to them to be guided and molded until they are ready to live life. I guess this is why being a parent requires selflessness and unconditional love, it is a place in life where you truly love without expectations. I hope someday if given a chance to have kids, I can embrace them with all my heart but be willing to let go of them gently when it's time for them to fly.
Detachment is a life-long lesson for most of us. Whenever I get too attached, I have to step back and think of what is truly important in life. You and I. Everything else are equipment, meant to be used to build our relationships.
It has been said: God gives us our life. What we do with this life is our gift to Him and to one another.
So use things wisely. Use them to love. For instance, cars - for picking up loved ones. Phones - for calling friends and asking how they are. Money - for treating colleagues to a nice lunch or building a home for a poor family.
To do the really important things, you do not really need the latest gadgets or spend too much. Even the simplest ones and little acts done with great love will do.
Leaving you now with a song from an all-time favorite artist, John Lennon's Imagine, rendered by the amazing kids of Kolisko Waldorf with John Lesaca during their musical recital, Music in Me 2.
"Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can?" he sings. I wonder how the children do it?
They have learned the secret of life early on. They came into life having nothing. They trusted that God will give them what they need. When they have them, they enjoy what they have to the fullest and they are willing to give back what they have.
Let's remember again this valuable lesson of playing and sharing!
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What's Next? We are halfway done with the year! I wish Christmas can come early, but all of life is a waiting. Waiting is a kind of suffering, a sacrifice, until we receive what we long for. Most of life is a waiting, don't you think? But this is another topic for another day...Till next time! :)
Revisiting a blog I made awhile back. I'm not afraid of being alone but this week kind of felt lonely. On these days, it is always nice to remember the simple pleasures in life. Happiness is truly a choice, as most of the things that matter. Sharing with you my Happy Bucket List :
1. Spending time with a friend, talking about life and love.
2. Listening to a good song especially from the Beatles (never fails to make me feel better, I really don't know why.)
5. Drinking vanilla coffee or chai latte in an earthen mug (yes my friends, coffee tastes better in a mug. I especially like it when the pottery is so beautiful, I want to take it home).
6. Writing a blog :)
7. Reading a good book in bed.
8. Watching inspiring films made by Walt Disney and Pixar. Watching well-made movies in theater even on my own.
9. Browsing inside a bookstore or admiring paintings and photographs in an art gallery. Learning new things.
10. Walking without a preconceived destination and discovering something delightful along the way. Running.
11. Going to a Gawad Kalinga village in the province.
12. Riding the bus to the province or the city train and looking outside; also cheesy as it may sound, looking at the stars in the sky.
Ah, happy quiet.
How about you? What makes you happy? Whether it be cooking, playing the guitar, diving, preparing for a marathon, spending play time with the kids, a movie date with your loved one, I hope you make the time for it. I realized that if you are content within yourself, you find more love to give to others, like a fountain of goodness that overflows or a lovely dessert box that does not run out of sweets. I guess, it is true that loving one's self in a healthy way helps one to love others in a better way too. Take care you and God bless! :)
At 1pm today, raindrops fell but instead of feeling sad that such kind of weather often evokes in me, I felt happy. Strange, I thought. As I breathed in the smell of the after-rain that normally brings to mind childhood memories, I am amazed that I feel content. I think something significant changed in me last year.
But it is the kind of change that is subtle, something that is slow but steady to reveal itself. It's as if peace alighted upon me, the kind that do not need announcements nor press conferences but the quiet assurance that everything will be alright and that God will always provide.
Hope does not disappoint. Keeping the faith doesn't either. Following one's dreams, no matter how difficult, gives us that lasting happiness that temporary pleasures can never give. Simple joys are however a different story, and most of it can be experienced for free.
Good things come to those who wait and are faithful to who they are, to their purpose in life. Last year was spent many days waking up early to write, there were plenty of times I had wanted to give up, but thank grace I didn't. I realized then that the cliche is so true, success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration.
Writing a long story (too long, hehe) was at times painful but it was worth it in the end. I am grateful for having tried and as I revise it to share with the world hopefully soon, my heart is like flying without wings, eager to share something of myself, something that would hopefully make the world a little brighter, better, even for just one.
There is no price for art nor life. We are masterpieces, works of art by the Great Creator, Designer, Author, Singer, Your Passion Here. I truly believe each of us reflects an aspect of our Maker and it is our duty to shine brightly for Him, to share our light with others. Imagine a world where everyone is fulfilling their purpose and potential, I imagine happiness everywhere! There would be no more suicides and people falling in despair, which disturbs my heart the most. There is always hope and may it shine brightly for you this year. Let us imagine a world where each willingly shares the best of themselves. What a wonderful world that would be, a beautiful mural where each of us contribute our time, gifts and love.
It is my hope that this year we try to become the best that we can be with lots of grace and hard work and may it be this best self that we share with others so that they too can become the best that they can be, especially those who need our help the most.
Happy New Year to You! May all our dreams come true.
"Many things will catch your attention but only a few will capture your heart, pursue those," says one of my favorite quotes which encourages me to pursue the dreams God has placed in my heart. I wondered if this principle could also be applied to finding a partner in life.
Tweaking it a little, I thought about how "many people will catch our attention, but only a few will capture our hearts," but as I thought about it further I realized that we don't really need many people, not even a few, but only one who will accept us completely, unconditionally.
I believe that if we find the person with whom we can be truly ourselves with then we have found a treasure.
Relationships work best when we enter it because we want to share of ourselves, not because we want someone to fill a need. Only God can fill the cracks in our hearts. It is he who heals us and the love that comes from him is what we share. We enter a relationship to give and not to take. If the other person gives back, it is a wonderful gift that we receive with a grateful heart.
When we enter a commitment, we must ask ourselves instead: How can I make this person happy? How can I help this person be the best that he or she can be? How can I help him or her to be truly alive?
For me that is true love. The kind of love that reflects the love of God.
On another note, I have heard people say that there are two important things that require careful and thoughtful decision-making:
1.What we do with our lives (our mission), 2. Whom to spend it with (our life partner). It is true we should spend more time on decisions that are irreversible than those that can easily be changed.
Imagine this: your happiness or misery depends on the decision you make about what you choose to do and whom you spend your life with. It's a decision that requires careful reflection and prayer, before a leap of faith is taken. I remember a friend saying, "I'd rather be happy alone than miserable with someone."
That thought chipped the ice on my otherwise stubborn heart. There is a question that can prevent unnecessary pain in this area of choosing a partner: Can I see myself spending a lifetime with this person?
Can he/she be a partner in my mission, in fulfilling my purpose in life?
Will I be able to support him in his?
If there should be any doubt, one should take a step back and listen. It is better to be safe than sorry your whole life. I've seen so many relationships broken because they did not spend enough time praying about such a life-changing decision. Some relationships suck the life out of you that it hurts and leaves you in pieces afterwards. Relationships should be life-giving and helps your partner become the best that God created them to be.
A relationship focused on caring and sharing is the key to happiness. May we all out-give each other in love.
Just something I wrote a few years ago that I need to remember these days... Look where you're going and No worries!
"Stepping into the Land Down Under was in many ways a leap of faith. A new place, and my first time overseas. Many times, I've had to look at fear in the face and tell it to step aside so I can get on to where I wanted to go and experience Australia at her best.
Like the calm Sydney Harbour, I learned how it was to go with the flow and understand what the Aussies mean when they say "No Worries!"
I've discovered this while learning how to snowboard at the Snowy Mountains in Perisher Valley, about 6 hours from Sydney. In this snowy mountain, I fell down many times and endured pain. There was a point, I slid so fast that I fell backwards and hit my head. But on this pivotal moment, while lying there with my aching head, I caught a glimpse of the classic Australian sky so clear and so blue. I felt so grateful to be there and I began to sit up grasping pure snow with my freezing hands.
There was simply nothing to do but not give up! Stand up again, clutch the snowboard, walk uphill and ride it out...until finally you get down that hill without falling down! and experience the relief of conquering your fear of falling, by embracing the reality that you will fall down. Strangely enough, the less I feared falling, or the moment I accepted the reality of falling and that it was alright to do so (after all it's part of learning) - I began not to fall and managed to balance myself on a snowboard for a perfect downhill slide. Amazing. Accept your fear, release it and you find your balance.
Perhaps it is the first and the last time I will ever go snowboarding but I will never forget the lessons it taught me. I take to the advice of Ewan McGregor in his book the Long Way Round: Part of the adventure is to try. If you fail , then that's fine. As long as you have given it a good chance.
You never do fail as long as you learn your lessons well. From this once-in-a-lifetime snowboarding experience I am taking one simple but crucial lesson home, "Always look where you are going," this is the very first instruction our snowboard teacher gave us. Where your feet-strapped snowboard goes is where you are looking. If you look to your right, your snowboard will head to your right. I figured the same goes in life, where you set your eyes on is where you will most likely end up. So perhaps it is best to be keenly aware at where you are looking. And if you don't like where you are headed, why don't you change your direction by looking somewhere else...perhaps into the direction of your dreams."
It's time I remembered this lesson and keep on focusing on those experiences and activities that give meaning and fullness of life.
It's been a few weeks since I moved. It's both beautiful and sad. It's like leaving something behind and in a way it feels like dying. But any growth that is deliberate is painful. I hope that it would be all worth in the end. Writing a book, starting a business, preparing to be a good wife, such high standards I have set for myself. Doing the necessary sacrifices to live a happy, full life is not easy but something worth trying.
Sometimes, I forget that I am worth it no matter what, and it's not what I do but who I am by virtue of being God's child. I deserve the best. The reason I want to dream big is to love more. Setting up something that is beyond my own strength needs God's abundant grace.
But God provides, I needed a white board and there was one in my room. I wanted something zen-like, uncluttered space, and sliding doors, I got all that I wished for. It's like a halfway house where I am training to become the woman I was created to be. I am your daughter, Papa God. Please remember me today. It's been a week of tears and I know you just want me to be strong. It's so difficult Lord. Today, I am needing the strength to go on.
I am tired of being someone's option or alternative. For once I would like to be listened to, not the one always listening. I am tired of writing the stories of other people, I would like to write my own. I am tired of people thinking they know me but they don't.
Life is giving me a test and I'm hoping to pass it with flying colors. To hear my Father say someday, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." Help me not to settle, Lord. Help me to let go of what's good so I can follow what's best. Help me. I need your grace ever more.
Help me to let go fully and trust You. November is fast approaching, I really hope it's going to be a happy month. Thank you in advance!
Never Hide. I saw this from a tagline of an eyeware company and I thought to myself, what does that mean? Further reflection revealed that one should never hide their gifts and talents because as Oprah would say, “Your playing small does not serve the world.” We need to become the best version of ourselves so that we can give our best to others.
Today, I feel like my world has just changed. I am writing this blog from a place where I won’t normally consider myself being in. But suddenly, I find myself in it. At 33, I feel that my life is just beginning to unfold. As Steve Jobs would put it, the dots are starting to connect. It is quite exciting and I need so much grace and courage to make it happen, to connect these dots. Although I will always be a child at heart, my mind is racing a hundred miles per hour with all the things I want to accomplish in the coming months.
I just transferred to a new home which ironically is addressed #33 and the office I often go to dream and write is found on the 33rd floor of a building. I don’t mean to give too much meaning to it but I am kind of amused and delighted at such a coincidence.
At the new room where I am staying, I was given the gift of a white board, and the wooden floor gives me a lot of space to dream and to think on my feet. I love the touch of these wooden floors. I am like a planttransferred to another pot where my roots can finally stretch and grow. I really hope I would become a good steward of these many blessings thrown in my path. To be able to use them and harness them and to pay it forward in the near future.
It is a time to build, a time to never hide. A time to bloom if I may be allowed to say so, as a good friend says, I should claim it! I should. So be it. The Japanese would often say the words: “Itadakimasu” right before a meal. It means "Let's eat!" It is also translated to mean “I humbly receive.”
I am humbly receiving at this stage in my life. To humbly receive is to acknowledge our dependence on God who is the Source of everything. When we have God, we have everything. I am finding that it is true what St. Teresa of Avila says, God alone is sufficient.
I am learning to humbly receive, so that when it’s time for me to give, I would give as I have received. May our dreams come true and may our hearts be in the right place when they do.
Eyes to heaven with our feet firmly planted on the ground.
It's 1 in the morning and I am still up. I am kind of glad it is July. The half of 2011 has passed us by so quickly.
So far 2011 has been really good to me in terms of experiences and goals being met. I am halfway through a personal writing project which I hope to turn into a book come November which is a dream of mine for a very long time. I'm finding myself also in the midst of starting a business which I pray will succeed but we're taking baby steps.
I am grateful to God that He has helped me to balance work and friendships this year. I think I'm getting used to having these one-on-one conversations over coffee. I've been listening a lot and getting to know people in a very personal way.
I'm also getting out of my shell and becoming more of who I truly am. I still have so much to learn. I hope to use all the gifts that heaven has given me and be a good steward. I still need heaps of self-discipline though. I rely on grace for the most part.
I believe in the saying, "Clarity of purpose is clarity of soul." Sometimes I get distracted and I have to bring myself back on track again. Thank God for new beginnings and second chances. Every day is a new day to start anew. I have to tell myself to keep moving forward.
I'm happy to note that I've gone to all the events (weddings, in particular) that I have been invited to so far. I consider it a real feat because sometimes it's been quite challenging. But I am learning to keep my word no matter how difficult and I am glad too that I was able to witness these special occasions for it keeps the heart hopeful and the spirit renewed.
I long to grow more in the next half of the year and with all my heart hope to complete all the things I have set out to do. I also pray for the courage to go to where I am called, to venture into the unknown, to go out of my comfort zone. To be true to my purpose and not to lose sight of what matters most.
These three questions developed by John Maxwell have been particularly helpful. He shares that before deciding where to invest his time, he asks himself the 3R's of Decision-Making. The following are adapted from his book, Today Matters:
1. What is REQUIRED of me?
"Any realistic assessment of priorities in any area of life must start with a realistic assessment of what you must do. For you to be a good spouse or parent, what is required of you? To satisfy your employer, what must you do? If you lead others, then what must you personally do that cannot be delegated to anyone else? "
2. What gives me the greatest RETURN?
"As you progress in your career, you begin to discover that some activities yield a much higher return for the effort than others. After determining requirements, focus on choices with a high return on investment."
3. What gives me the greatest REWARD?
"If you do only what you must, along with what is effective, then you will probably be highly productive. But you may not be content. I think it’s also important to consider what gives you personal satisfaction."
But I would like to add a valuable insight I learned today from a friend and entrepreneur, Reyna Tio, owner of Creative Styles on Shapes Inc., who pointed out something important.
"No matter how much our toil, if God does not bless it, we will only be grasping winds."
She adds, "I do agree that we ought to do the steps now that would lead us to achieve what we hope for in the future. But more than this, I also believe that God is the ultimate author, the beginning and the end. The finisher of our fate. What would be best though is to ask God to align our plans, hopes, dreams and efforts to HIS will and plan."
It is the true secret to success. I think it's the best advice I've heard today that will guide me to right path in the coming months. May God bless the plans of our hearts and the work of our hands.
Blaaagggggg. I think my heart just hit the ground, breaking into a million pieces.
Last week, I was listening to someone talk about issues of the heart, and it got me very sad. I think my heart broke too. Today, I need to let it go as well.
I know it is cliche to say that things happen for a reason, but it doesn't help a heart at the moment when they are suffering. How do you say that the hurt will go away someday? What does a person need to hear? What did I want to know when I was hurting too?
...That life goes on because it must. That if you keep on walking, you'll find the sun warming your face again even though you feel cold inside. That the lessons you learned will make you a better person and better equipped at loving the right one. That by letting go, you can hold on to hope of better things to come.
I look to the ground and pick a piece and try to put it back in its proper place. I remember in the past when my heart was badly broken too and I did not know where to begin. Looking back, I thought that pain will never end. But here I am now fully recovered and free, a testimony to the cliche that time indeed heals all wounds.
In my ideal world, love is easy and simple. It is not difficult nor does it have to be complicated. Yes, we must work hard to express it in action. But I do believe that true love is light. It might be a naive thing for me to say but I believe that love is something that falls into its rightful place. I believe that there is someone for each one, and that God knows what's best for everyone. After all, He is the author of love.
I think about the people that I have had to let go because they can no longer journey with me. I realize now that love is not about me but about the other person. About allowing them to be happy in the path they have chosen, letting them be where they want to be.
And perhaps, someday, someone will stay... Incidentally, I was at the airport over the weekend and witnessed again all the comings and goings of fellow wanderers, and found that life is a lot like that. Maybe someday, someone will choose to travel with me where I want to go, wherever that might be. Maybe that time will come for me too and time will be my friend.
Like everyone else, I long for a happy ending.
Speaking of which, I am glad to report that I have attended all the weddings I have been invited to this year, with one more left, my cousin's wedding in LA.
I love weddings simply because it reminds me of the triumph of the heart, a time when the heart is at its best, full and complete. I see couples happily embracing a new future together and all the heartaches from before are left behind, the past no longer matters and rightly so.
I love weddings because it reveals to me how people can overcome pain, its shadows, and all the frustrations of relationships that did not work out as well as the many what-ifs and figments of imaginations of what- might-have-beens are put to rest. They have finally found the love that is meant for them. I know it sounds cheesy but it's true. It is beautiful when the heart is victorious and the hopeful romantic reigns.
I look at the bride and the groom and I see how happy they are that they are finally found, that their hearts are in the right place after all the heartaches and pain and the waiting for the time to come. I find tears in the bride not of sorrow but of joy. Because all the letting go and the things that made no sense in the past will no longer matter from now on.
And so I am filled with hope again because true love triumphs in the end. Whatever sadness I feel right now over the what-may-have-been will be offset by the hope of a beautiful tomorrow. God loves me and you. All the hurting hearts tonight can look forward to something wonderful when the heart will be fully restored.
As for me, I will keep walking until then...when there will no longer be a hundred million pieces, but only one finding its rightful place.
Warning: this entry is going to be cheesy. Read no further, if you don't want cheese. So, you've been warned :) and here we go...
I know I promised to write every week but life happened. I'm sorry I know it is not an excuse but I will do my best to cram all that I learned in the past few weeks.
Attended a friend's wedding last Monday, the first of five weddings to be attended this year. It is always nice and heartwarming to see people in love tie the knot. It think it's one of the best moments in life. I wish them all the best that married life has to offer especially the gift of friendship, companionship, shared dreams, and children that will give them joy and fullness of life.
When God writes a love story, it is always fascinating to me... I would like to experience it one day. I feel I have been a late bloomer in my career and personal life and I still feel like I am growing and have so much to learn.
But in spite of the promise of a beautiful future in terms of career opportunities, I still think motherhood is still the best job in the world. From my friends' experiences I have learned that raising children is not easy, but it is the most satisfying and rewarding work of all.
Early this month, I attended the christening of my first "halfie" godchild Amber. She is half-Filipina, half-British. She is adorable and gorgeous and looks like an angel. It's so nice to witness a baby getting baptized. It's like witnessing the beginning of something wonderful. Hope I will still be around in the future to see her grow up and find her calling in life and maybe offer some helpful guidance along the way.
Her parents met in Boracay where her father said to her mother the first time he saw her: "You don't know this yet but you are going to marry me." Who doesn't like a man who is certain and knows what he wants? They got married the following year and the fruit is beautiful Amber.
I saw them again last month (they are based in the UK), and it was nice to see the camaraderie of the couple. It made me realize the essentials of a good marriage are: laughter, understanding, respect and honesty.
These values are essential to making any type of relationship work, more so with couples. You have got to learn to make each other smile :) and bring out the best in each other.
And in the worst of times, be there for each other.
I learned that one friend just had surgery to remove her breast cancer. She is one strong woman and you would be inspired by her journey at http://34andhopeful.blogspot.com.
A couple's fight is good when you are fighting the same thing. Indeed, united you stand, divided you fall. Perhaps, one of the best gifts that marriage has to offer is that you are not alone in whatever you are going through. There is always a ready support in your other half and you know that you are loved no matter what.
Marriage is one of the greatest gifts in life, I have observed. It would be nice to take that leap of faith one day. I know I am a work-in-progress and I am a bit scared to take that step but when I am ready, I pray and hope that I will be a good wife and mom, in the tradition of the Proverbs 31 woman. That is such a tough standard but the one deserves nothing less but the best that I can give. But I am not perfect, and so I will try to make use of my imperfect love and infuse it with God's grace.
May all be well like a warm cup of tea that soothes the body and comforts the soul. I wish you well in all the journeys you are taking today...and remember always what matters most: Relationships. People over things.
I'm feeling a bit sad today. Please forgive this in not my usual sunshiny entry. Yesterday, I went to visit my friend's father's wake and the way going there took longer than expected. While in the jeepney, I learned that the reason for the crawling traffic was that someone was shot while on his motorcycle and his body remained splattered on the road.
I felt sad because given that there was a man who was murdered, people grumbled that he was causing traffic. I wanted to say out loud to fellow passengers, that sorry he incoveniently died at the time you were going home. Look, here was a man who was no longer going home to his family. Perhaps, it would be okay to be more patient on his behalf.
I feel so sad also because I learned that one of our GK resident's brother was killed by his co-worker. It is too much to bear the thought that life could be taken just like that without remorse, so callously, as if life was a garbage that could be easily discarded.
Life, it's so fragile and so precious. Those that died in a bus bombing or the construction workers who fell to their death from a building a few weeks ago, knew not that the day would be their last. There are accidents and there are tragedies. But those who take life away is most disturbing to me.
To hear a former general accused of alleged corruption committing suicide today also makes me sad. Will taking one's life solve any problem? How can it be an honorable act? I understand that desperation and depression may have caused him to take his own life and I really feel sad that he felt so bad that he had to resort to such a recourse. Did he feel there was no hope left, no one to help him? I feel it is a selfish and a cowardly act to take one's life. How about the loved ones you will leave behind, think of the people who care for you? Even just for them, will you not have courage to live! Will going away solve anything? What changes can one do when one is dead?
Is death an inconvenient truth? When we face the certainty death, we can live our lives with more meaning, always conscious of the fact that life has a deadline and because of it we must make most of every moment we have. I don't think we have the right to end it anytime we want. Life is a gift, only the Giver has the right to take it back.
There is always hope as long as we are alive. Let us not give up! Despite the loneliness or the disappointments, let's fight for life. Let's fight for all that is good in this life. May perfect love cast out all desperation. And may life in all its forms be respected.
"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
It is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." (Desiderata)
Our prayer today: May the souls of the dearly departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen.
In this officially designated month of love, I thought that I might try to dabble on this proverbial topic. It is so massive a theme that I don't know where to begin.
Let me start by acknowledging that it is so amazing that I shall find myself attending 4 scheduled weddings this year, each couple with their own unique love stories. I have to say I am such a fan of love stories. I can listen all day to one! I am truly blessed to witness many of them unfold before my very eyes.
in search of love and light
This week in particular has been quite interesting as a few people have told me about some "complicated" relationships/friendships they found themselves in. As I don't know exactly what to say, I could only offer them a listening ear and an open heart.
It might be naive to say that love conquers all, although in my ideal world it does. In reality though, one faces societal expectations , prejudices and judgement that need to be overcome.
My dear friend's question to me stuck like a glue, "Are you willing to fall in love with someone who is poor and uneducated and not "suited" for you according to the world's standards?" It is a valid question since a person would naturally fall for or get attracted to someone who is of the same "kind", so to speak. But once in a while, one falls for someone totally unexpected, seemingly out of one's league, or from a different race, age, religion and culture, what happens then?
Although, I don't know exactly where the confusion comes from when such circumstances come into play, I do think that the fear comes from the outside. We could be mostly concerned with what other people would say than really being true to ourselves.
As I have had time to think about the question and my delayed reaction is that I go with the argument that it doesn't matter what other people would say. We are responsible for our choices and decisions, and that at the end of the day we have to live with them. As long as we are not intentionally hurting anyone or intending to do something that we know is wrong or unjust, our relationship decisions need not seek the approval of others. What we only truly need is the approval of God and the support of family and friends who truly care and wants the best for us.
To you who wonder what people would think now that you've become dis-"engaged" and in just a few months found someone more suitable for you, I hope that you will feel free one day to express the love you have in your heart. I've seen the story of dis-engagement happen quite a few times and so far, it has always turned out for the best.
I think it is better and more considerate to get out of a relationship that makes you doubt in your gut or makes you wonder if you are making the right decision, than to suffer for the rest of your life and make the other person suffer as well. Can you imagine what an awful life that would be, so much unnecessary pain. If there is any hint of doubt, it would be good to stop and pray.
I believe that those who truly love you really only wants the best for you and that they want to protect you from pain, hence their concern. In the midst of confusion though, you may find that in the stillness of the night, you can listen to your heart speak clearly. You will find the answer when you are true to yourself.
To you who wonder if you you should give your non-stereotype a chance, I believe that we are all created equal and that socio-economic status and other superficial standards of beauty and success are not reliable guides when it comes to answering crucial questions about love. What should truly matter are character and values.
Take away all the trappings, and you are left with a person with a heart and soul. Are you willing to get to know the real person, including his/her wounds and weaknesses? Are you able to connect with the person?Are you willing to take the time to know who he/she really is deep inside? Can you share laughter often and are you willing to carry each other's burden?
More importantly, I am inclined to refer to Scott Peck's definition of love as a wise guide:
“Love is not a feeling. Love is an action, an activity. Genuine love implies commitment and the exercise of wisdom. Love as the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth."
I think the valuable questions to ask should be: Do I care enough about the other person that I am willing to encourage and support his or her growth? Am I willing to give my best to him so that he can become the best person he can be?
"True love is an act of will that often transcends ephemeral feelings of love or cathexis, it is correct to say, 'Love is as love does'.”
Love, true love that is, as you know is a decision made and an action expressed. Love without action (or the giving of one's self for the growth of the other) is dead.
I realize that true love, the kind that we all want, is for the mature. Is there hope for us, when we are all works-in-progress? I believe, there is always hope. We mature as we love. We learn from our mistakes, and we grow. When we enter into a relationship and seek to share ourselves for the good of the other and find that the other person is willing to also work with us as we try to grow ourselves too, then we are well on our way to experiencing the genuine thing. How wonderful that would be, a true partnership that provides encouragement, acceptance and support.
Some have pointed out gray areas when it comes to some relationship issues and we will never know what truly goes on between two individuals and we should always respect other people's choices. If there is any concern that will endanger them, we must speak the truth, but to do so lovingly. Despite the complications of a love life, I believe that true love is crystal clear. St. Paul correctly captures love's light when he says,
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13)
This is the kind of love that can only come from the Source of love itself. It is the right principle to follow for loving relationships, romantic or otherwise. May God help us love true.
A friend once said, "Love (sure) is hard work," that's true, but it is so worth giving all our efforts to; to communicate, to respect, to understand and to trust in order to build a relationship that is more precious than whatever else we may desire.
I believe that love is worth the investment because it is the only thing that lasts forever.
What do you think? Let's talk over sushi!
Love is like a sushi platter, you decide what you're going to get and when you do, savor every moment.
The lovely tree sheds its bark in the winter because the bark dries up. It peels off its flesh to reveal layers of green, red, and beige within.
I always believed nature has much to teach us.
We can adapt to anything like the lovely snow gum tree. Shedding the old to reveal the new. Unfolding the many aspects of ourselves. While we try to adapt to our environment, we must not lose our identity. Our core remains the same.
The snow gum is still a snow gum tree whether it grows or shrinks. But why shrink when you were meant to grow. It remains dependent on its roots for nourishment. The taller it grows, the deeper its roots go. I was told that the height of the tree is proportional to the depth of its roots.
Roots for me include prayer, family and friends and all the gifts we have been blessed with.
Wherever we go we can adapt but still remain who we are when our roots are deep.
May we grow more this year and bear fruits that will nourish, as our roots dig deeper.
It struck me today, how short life is. Last year, I knew of many people who died. Three people in their 40s were taken back to heaven, one after a lingering illness, the other two so suddenly. I was also talking to the caretaker of an internet cafe one time, she seemed healthy and eager to work and the next week she was gone.
Last year, my friends and I found ourselves hopping from one wake to another. It was surreal. There are lessons to be learned in witnessing these things.
You may have lost a loved one too last year. My deepest condolences. For us who are fortunate enough to live through this new decade, I wonder what we are going to do with the next 50 years of our lives.
Life is indeed short, my friend. The healthiest of us can live up to 90 years and more and more people fade away at the age of 70. I'm sorry to be talking about things like these at the start of the year but I believe it is always wise to begin with the end in mind. What will we be doing this year? Will it be spent on pursuing things that we must eventually leave behind? Will we be saying along with King Solomon in Ecclesiastes that life is useless?
Indeed, life is useless when it is lived only for one's self. When in the pursuit of success, we forget others. In the contentment and satisfaction of living our lives, we forget that there are people who need us in their poverty. Will we help them also achieve their dreams? Will the latest gadget received last Christmas be used for the good? Will it be used to love? Will things remain things, and people matter most?
Life is useful when it is used for a purpose. I believe only God can tell us what our purpose is in this world. It is always best to consult the Maker. It is beautiful to discover our purpose in His grace and live it accordingly since only then can our lives truly have meaning.
The clock is ticking. Are you doing the purpose for which you are made? I pray that you will discover it soon. May we live everday of our lives before it's too late.
At the end of it all, only love remains.
My prayer this year: Father, teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Food for thought this week: Life is short, God's way of encouraging a bit of focus. ~Robert Brault
What to write on a Sunday afternoon, when the household is asleep and the sky is shedding tears (of joy, i hope). Seeking to keep my promise to blog once a week for the next 52 weeks, and so here it goes...
The writing life is a life of discipline, even when you are not inspired, you must gather all your strength to write. In sum, you just have to sit down and do it. Tapitaptaptap... even when the words make no sense until finally there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I believe that everyone can write. But not everyone has the discipline for writing. But like every skill in life, I believe wholeheartedly that it can be learned. I struggle with the discipline of writing too but it's just like being an athlete-in-training, you have to show up and exercise your writing muscles. Just do it. Begin even when you don't feel like doing it. Keep moving forward. Suddenly, inspiration strikes as you type, even words that make no sense act to prime the water of ideas until it overflows.
Sometimes when I write, it feels like I'm jotting down notes. Most of the ideas do not come from me, it comes from a source that is wiser, kinder and more loving. Some call her the Muse, for others still - the higher self, I acknowledge it as divine inspiration, the Spirit generously sharing his kind thoughts through me. I am just an instrument in the hands of Greatest Author of all and I humbly receive.
It is a privilege to write and indeed one of the greatest blessings of my life. I hope that I would be able to share something beautiful with you every week, be your friend even only through this blog. It is my prayer that you live every day of your life fully as I try to live mine. Let us struggle together and let us be victorious together in God's grace. May His inspiration kindle the hope in your heart until it burns brightly for all to see so that others may also dream, and dare to achieve their dreams. Not to us but to His name be the glory.
Let us keep on doing what we were meant to do. God bless us in 2011!
1. You cannot give what you do not have: I learned this the hard way, that it is truly important to love one’s self in a healthy way so as to be able to love others in the truest sense. To love your neighbor as one’s self constitutes a given, that you love yourself too. And the true love that overflows from within is one that you share and give to others. In this way, you give without expecting anything in return. You love because it naturally flows out from you. And when we draw from the Source of Love, we find so much more to give. God's spirit is within us, let us share his kind of love to the world, one that gives life to others.
2. You cannot please everyone: And that IS okay. There are six billion people in the world and counting, everyone with different personalities, tastes and preferences and it’s quite impossible for one person to attend to everyone’s needs. So, I’ve learned to serve those I am called to serve, those who I am called to "please" - to make happy. One of the most popular words of the past decade is “niche” and wisely so. Let us begin by serving our niche, the people whom we were designed to serve and do well what we can do best. I resolve to now stay focused on my purpose because at the end of it all, the only one we truly need to delight is God and everything else follows. Think Matthew 6:33. “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.” We were created for a purpose. May we grow deeper in our purpose this year and if we haven't found it yet, may we discover it soon in prayer and application.
3. In order to do the BEST that you can, you have to say NO to other (lesser) things: I am reminded in particular of the quotable quote “Many things will catch your attention but only a few will capture your heart. Pursue those.” Indeed. Many things will want to want to divide our time and attention that in the end we cannot focus on what we truly want to accomplish. In truth, we must remain true to our calling, because this is how we will best serve others. May our soul dreams come true not only for our sake but for others too.
PostScript:
I started 2010 on a positive note, hoping that it would be an awesome year and it was! It’s amazing how words can become reality and how words truly have life in them. (And the word was made flesh…) Pleasant surprises included a free trip to Boracay courtesy of my good friend Dette, it was a prize during her wedding for the person who catches her bouquet. During the ceremonial throwing, the bouquet landed on my hand, literally. I did not have to move from where I was standing. I guess it’s true what they say, when it’s yours, it is yours. One only needs to be open to receiving. Itadakimasu! I humbly receive.
That was at the beginning of the year when the moon was full and as Dette and James celebrates their first wedding anniversary today, I wish for them a wonderful and love-filled married life. What joy it is to receive baby Amber Raine at the close of 2010. What a blessing indeed!
I am also truly grateful that I got to spend more time with my cousins who grew up in L.A. It was great to reconnect with them and to discover that in spite of the distance and differences in the influences and environment that we grew up in, the core of who we are remain, the values and traits we have inherited from our elders will remain as we continue forge new memories and traditions of our own. I am excited Jing and Klet about the future as you re-discover your Filipino roots. I believe I’ll be seeing more of you in our beloved Philippines. Cheers to new and wonderful memories together!
I am filled with hope and wonderful expectation at what this new year and new decade will bring. I pray with all my heart that 2011 and the coming years would be good and filled with pleasant surprises.
I believe that I will see God’s promises fulfilled before my very eyes. For He said, “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future full of hope.”(Jeremiah29:11).
Cheers to an amazing year ahead! May God continue to bless and keep us in his loving heart! Amen. So be it.
Listening today to Jars of Clay's Faith like a Child. I am so early in the office today. I woke up at 3 am and can't sleep again. I've only slept for less than 4 hours but my mind is active though my back needs some rest.
These past 3 days has been rather fascinating. I have been discerning for the next steps in life and I have been spending time in prayer. It is amazing when heaven speaks. I've realized that God does speak clearly, not in cryptic signs you need to decode, but that he speaks plainly in the language you know. The Spirit speaks to us in the way we will understand.
In my experience, I have felt God talking to me through phrases in books, to the lines of a song or a movie. Sometimes it can be amusing. God can be funny too and he can make you laugh with how spot-on he can be.
I am just very grateful today because when I asked for courage, I received it. I prayed for wisdom and insights came like a flood. It is kind of overwhelming, scary and exciting, at the same time. I am certain right now that God wants me to grow and to pursue the path that will allow me to be the best that I can be, where I can best serve others at this time in my life. Changes can be daunting and uncomfortable but I have hope because God is already there, victory is at hand. We just need to take the steps of trust towards the destiny that awaits us.
Faith is a gift. Sometimes, I struggle with doubts with my self. But I pray that I would never lose my faith in God because to not know him is to walk and stumble in darkness. God is light. Faith is what helps us see beyond what our minds can't grasp at the moment. The knowledge of him shouts from the very atom of the universe. He is both art and science combined. I believe and it is true. It is truly a blessing to see with the eyes of the heart. I wish the same for you.
They say that I can move the mountains
And send them crashing to the sea
They say that I can walk on water
If I would follow and believe
with faith like a child
They say that love can heal the broken
They say that hope can make you see
They say that faith can find a Savior
If you would follow and believe
with faith like a child
A visit to Tito Joey V. in the hospital got me all sad and pensive today. I admire his quiet strength despite his sufferings and even amidst all of the pain, the natural cheerfulness of his spirit comes shining through.
So, I am both sad and happy at the same time. I admire Tito Joey for the way he has blessed the world with his work. But most of all, I admire his love for his children.
Which brought me to a simple realization. This week has rather been lonely with some hints of longingness for something I can't put a finger on. On my computer, there is a photo that says: "My greatest dream will come true..." As a very visual person, I surround my self with pictures of things I long for in the future. But this particular photo, which I daily see on my desktop, and has possibly been embedded in my subconscious, remains a mystery to me.
I would look at it daily and ask myself, what exactly is my greatest dream?
And so I wondered for months, not really knowing but trusting that it will somehow at some point dawn on me. I thought, Lord, is it about writing a book or starting a business. Even though I feel, they are beautiful dreams, I couldn't bring myself to think, that one of them was the greatest one of all.
And there it came, over chili con carne and ice cream, a sudden light arriving in the evening. At the home of Jaja O., while helping her prepare for her dear mom's 60th birthday celebration, it hit me.
Hugging her child, while shedding tears for the best memory she has of her mom, something touched my heart. How can our simple conversation turn out to be an extraordinary one? Seeing Bernadette's postings of the child in her womb on the same day, placed the icing on the cake. How wonderful it is to see a dear friend's dreams coming true and another one living it.
And I felt that despite the grandness of my dreams, I realized all I wanted above all was to be a good mom in the future, in the tradition of all the great mothers in the world. What a privilege to raise children who will be blessing the world with their gifts. The greatest treasure one gives to the world is what one leaves behind. Hopefully for me, it will be children who will grow up in love with God and their country, helping make the world a better place, better than ours.
The dreamer in me continues to hope that someday it will all come true. But today, I am just happy that I am reminded of what matters most in life - the love of family - and how the greatest gift someone can receive is the unconditional love of their parents, and if orphaned or needy, the awesome love of the greatest Father of all.
Thank you dear friend for inspiring me with your beauty and strength. Mabuhay ang mga nanay! God bless you! Thank you tito Joey for inspiring me with the way you live your life, by raising children who will bless the world just like you do.
