A Walk to Remember...

I walked for approximately 45 minutes today, from our office until a mall, about 2 kilometres. I don't know I am not precise with distance. But I'm sure I walked very far. I wish I could have gone further though. Maybe I am walking away from something, I actually feel like running...But walking always inspires. It makes me happy even when I get tired and hungry.

As always, I miss writing. I miss writing from the heart. Not about news or stuff that make one head spin but not touch the heart.

I want to walk away. But I don't want to regret. I don't want to waste time because life is short. Although life is long as well, when we are doing what we don't love. If I were given the opportunity, I would just write all day, about things that matter...write a novel, an essay or a song perhaps.

I would like to do it all the time even when no one reads it. I wish I could earn a living writing about things that I love, things that matter. But at the same time, I don't want to be selfish because I know it is not only about me. But if I weren't true to my self, who am I?

It's always this struggle to be true to one's self. I think it is precisely the moment when you don't care about what people think, that you become who you really are.

Now, if I only were THAT brave...to pursue those things that make my heart skip a beat, even when people may not understand...

I don't want to regret looking back at things I did not do. I want to help others. I want to be true. Is there a way to help others in a way that allows me to be true to my self...

I'd like to write a screenplay, a book, travel and write. I wonder if the future partner will understand me, and my need to be free, but at the same time needing to be understood and loved. I hope he is more stable than I am, more secured, and able to ground me (or encourage me) when ideas start to fly over my head, because of my imagination which I'd like to call over-creativity ;P I sometimes wish he writes too so he would understand...

But what is life without risks? All life is a risk. I wish I were brave enough to let go of security and take the plunge. How will I live? or how wil I eat? But life is so much more than food... I can let go of food, if only to write. It makes me full and satisfied.

I like quote I read today, which says: After all that's said and done, more is said than done.

So, more and more, I feel like hiding, and just doing. I don't want to keep on planning and not doing things, it is never productive. I feel like closing the doors and just needing to write. It takes a lot of energy for me now just to leave the house. All I want is some peace and quiet.

The walk always does me good. I am not afraid of being alone. But it is always nice to have someone to walk with...

I wish I could do some things over and correct the mistakes I have made. I hope it's not too late to do what I want to do and to be...