My Angel

            He came to me in a dream.

            A man dressed in pure white robe looking at me through kind eyes. He held his hand to me. I reached out to touch his cloak. He was moving too fast. I ran towards him, trying to get closer. But he was gone too soon. “Please wait,” I shouted.

            He flew in a flash, like a ball of white light engulfed in a velvet sky. I cried, “No! Please wait for me.” Blinded by tears, I reached out once more to him and in my hand landed a dazzling white feather, so light, so fragile…

            “Marietta, baby, wake up! You’re having a bad dream.” I heard someone murmur from a distance. Two hands grabbed my shoulders. Suddenly, I felt myself going back.

            I opened my eyes slowly and saw mother staring at me worried sick as she wiped the tears off my eyes. “Huh, oh, mama...” I was trying hard to remember his name. Was it Michael, Gabriel, Raphael…? Oh, it was Mark.

            “Mommy, his name is Mark.”

            “What?” she asked, seemingly bewildered.

            “Grandma said if I prayed every night and asked for the name of my guardian angel, he would grant my wish and let me know. God kept his promise. I know his name is Mark.”

            “Huh, oh right. It’s good to know you’re alright. I thought you were having nightmares again with all those screaming I heard. Come, we have to get ready for school now,” mom remarked, scarcely giving heed to what I said. I don’t know if she heard me. She thought it was just one of my imagined friends. That’s how it is with grown-ups, I thought, they are more concerned with things that can be touched and readily seen. But my angel was real and nothing trivial, I wanted to let her know. I could not see him but I knew he was there.

            And so I got ready for school with these things on my mind, wondering why adults were not in touch with the unknown. But not all, I thought, grandma always listened to what I said, she was always curious about these things. Perhaps she needed a companion, unseen or not, to keep close watch over her while she was living alone. So that, when it was finally time for her to go, someone would take care of her in the other world. But I, I needed someone to take care of me in this world.

            Friday was a busy day at school. Equations filled our heads. There were lots of things to memorize that there was no longer time to think about anything else, much less to ponder upon my dream until it was time for English class. Miss Cruz made us write an essay on the topic, “Who is your best friend?” My seatmate Karen looked at me knowingly and I began to write. I wrote about Mark and how I considered him to be my best friend. I talked about how he was always with me and how he helped me do my homework by giving me inspiration. I handed the essay to our teacher, satisfied with what I have written. It was then that Karen approached me.

            “Hey, Marietta, who is your best friend?” she asked.

            Although I did not want others to know fearing they would not understand, I decided to tell Karen since she was my friend. “It’s Mark,” I whispered.

            “Who is Mark?” she looked at me in wonder.

            “My guardian angel,” I replied.

            “Oh,” she muttered with a look of disappointment in her eyes. She turned her back on me and proceeded to have her lunch. I could not understand why she was hurt. My other classmates were talking about who their best friends were and I heard that Karen had written about me. And I, well, I did not write about her. So I ate alone. Was I insensitive? I asked myself. I thought I was being sincere. She was my friend but Mark was my best friend. She could not understand why I felt this way but I was not in the mood for petty fights and decided to let it pass.

            Ate Belen came to fetch me at school. She asked about how my day went and I told her about our lessons. She offered to help me with my science project. We went to buy some art materials until it was time to walk home.  There were plenty of cars and commuters in the streets. People seemed to be in a hurry to get home. We crossed a busy intersection, Ate Belen held my hand. We were half-way down the road when a sudden gust of wind took away the papers in my folder and sent it flying to the middle of the street. Instinctively, I released Ate Belen’s grip and ran to get them back. They were thrown all over the road, I had a hard time getting them all. Then I heard Ate Belen scream, “Marietta, look out!” I looked to see a car heading towards me, its headlights blinded me. I could not move, I was stunned and frightened still. I prayed and said the name on my mind, Mark! The headlights were getting brighter and brighter until I could see no more. But there was something else about its brightness. The light reminded me so much of something else. When I was finally accepting my plight and could barely hear Ate Belen shouting from a distance, the car screeched to an abrupt halt. My knees melted like marshmallow on campfire and I fell to the ground.

            All I could remember were people rushing to me and asking if I was alright. Ate Belen was crying and hugging me furiously, stroking my hair and crying. I could only nod, for I could not muster the strength to speak. Finally, a huge man dressed in white polo shirt and black pants approached and exclaimed, “Kid, you are lucky. My car almost lost its brakes. But something stopped the car, like there was a strong hand forcing it to stop.”

            “ It’s a miracle,” he said.

            A miracle, I said quietly to myself. When the commotion subsided and the onlookers went on their way, the man offered to take me home. Ate Belen conceded. After all, my legs had turned into jelly and could not hold my body much longer. The man gave his calling card that if any damage was found, we were to contact him anytime. I wanted to tell him my nerves got wrecked but I kept it to myself and bit my lips instead. Finally, we were home. Ate Belen rushed to tell my mother the whole story. The worrier that she was, mother came all over me with her anxious queries.

            “Honey, are you okay? Does anything hurt?” she asked full of concern.

            “Mom, I’m alright. I just feel a little tired and dizzy. I just need to rest.”

            So up my room I went. Lying on my bed I pondered upon the day, about the dream, about Karen and then about the car incident. “It was a miracle,” the thought echoed in my mind.  I remembered the familiar white light, brighter than the headlights. Suddenly it dawned on me, it was Mark all along. He heard my heart’s prayer and came when I needed him the most. Suddenly, I found myself praying, overwhelmed with emotions. I thanked Papa God and my sweet guardian angel for protecting me. I knew I could count on him. Maybe if I told Karen about this, the she would understand. Peace descended upon me and I fell into deep slumber.

            And then he came again just as before. But his face was more vivid. I could see him smiling at me. A face so gentle and kind with eyes as blue as the sea and hair the color of the sand. I asked, “How do I know you are real? How can I make others believe that you are true?” 

            He replied in the sweetest voice you’ll ever hear, “My child, you don’t need to see to believe. You only have to know in your heart that I am real. God has sent me to protect you and I will take care of you until you die. Then, I will take you up there to meet Him. And we will always be there together, forever.  But until then, know that I am always near.”

            Then he went away again as fast as he came. But I did not cry for this time I knew he would always be there.

            I woke up the next morning with a smile upon my face. It was a Saturday morning and there was no school. I decided to visit Karen at her house after I finished cleaning my room. Mother called me to say that grandma arrived and was waiting to see me downstairs. I rushed to get down, slipped on the third step and went tumbling down the stairs.

            Grandma yelled, “Marietta!” And all I could remember was my head bumping into the iron railing.

            Suddenly, I found myself in a beautiful garden filled with roses, daisies, stargazers and all other kinds of beautiful flowers.  Was I dreaming again? I thought. I did not know why I was there. But I was walking alone with a feeling of heaviness in my heart. I felt rather sad.

            And then out of the blue, I saw him and I called out to him, “Mark!” I was delighted to see him there.

            “Why are you here?” he said rather alarmed.

            “What?” confused, I asked.

            “It’s not yet time, I’ll take you back,” he said.

            “But I don’t understand,” I muttered.

            “No more questions, just take my hand,” he said. Suddenly, I felt small in his authority. He commanded respect and I obeyed. Taking his hand which was as soft as a feather, we flew together across space and time. I felt so light, we were flying on air, across city lights that looked like inverted stars. Then I saw the roof of our house and we stopped. He said, “Go back, it’s not yet time.”  Right then and there, I understood what he meant.

            I woke up to find myself in my room, with many faces staring at me. There was mama, Ate Belen, grandma and Karen. They started hugging me one by one and I could only hug in return.

            “You clumsy little girl,” mama said in between sobs, “I love you, baby.”  Karen approached tentatively and apologized for how she had behaved in school. “I am sorry too,” I said.

            “Best friends then? Um, I mean, friends?” she hesitated.

            “Yes, best friends,” I smiled and hugged her tight. When the tears have dried and Karen had gone home, grandma accompanied me in my room. I told her all about my dreams and where I had been when I seemed to have temporarily left.

            “What was he like?” she asked about Mark.

            “Oh grandma, he is the kindest and gentlest being you would ever see. With him, I felt very peaceful and safe,” I said.

            “What is it like out there in the garden?” curious, she asked.

            “Oh, that. It is such a beautiful place that smelled of sweet blossoms. You’ll feel like everything was right in the world. There was beauty all around.”

            “I’d like to get there,” she said softly, looking outside of my window.

I knew why she was asking me all of those questions, for very soon then, it would be her time.

            “Don’t worry grandma, I’ll ask Mark to be with you when you get there so you won’t be lonely.” She smiled at me lovingly and kissed me goodnight.

“You take care of yourself, Marietta,” she said.  She turned the light off my bedside lamp and left me with my thoughts and my dreams. In the darkness, I could see the stars outside the window and was awed at their capacity to light the ends of the earth. I saw my star shining brightly across the sky and I boldly made my wish.

            I reached out for my pillow and something beside it struck me. There it was a dazzling feather as pure and white as snow. I reached out to touch it and looked up again upon my star. I knew right then that my wish had been fulfilled.
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Happy Feast Day, Guardian Angel. Thank you for your love and light in my life.