She doesn't know how she got to the place. She just happened to find herself there. It just happened and she can't really explain fully because all was grace. God had lead her there.
Today, marks the end of my third month in GK. Whew, 3 months but it feels like years and loving it. Three months is officially the end of the probationary period, a time for people to discern...to be or not to be...
I don't know how I got here exactly. It all all happened so fast. I remember going to the GK office in May 2006 to get videos and do some interviews for our chapter anniversary video. As God would have it, my interviewee got late and I ended up waiting...In my waiting, I spoke to two kind fulltime workers, Jong and Eleanor, who told me stories about GK. I listened. and then El asks about my work (I used to be with Summit Media as an editorial assistant for Entrepreneur magazine) I told her I loved writing. And she said, that's great..."There's an opening at GK News Bureau and they've been looking for someone," she said. Something stirred up within me, as if my heart leapt. El said they were also looking for volunteers to help edit the Community Development Pages, a progress report made by GK for its partners, and I thought I could do that. I could volunteer.
Flashback to April 2006: I remember the stirrings to doing fulltime work while we joined the GK1MB Bayani Challenge to build homes for the poor. We were assigned to Bulalacao, Mindoro. I joined my SFC chapter mates on the great adventure. I was tasked to document the event. I made a story guide for our writers before our trip. I called it the GK journey. My heart was excited. I never thought it was the start of something really special...
There I met a full time worker, her name was Marisse Abanador. She was assigned in Papua New Guinea to help build GK communities for the poor in Papua New Guinea. I was moved by her sharing, the beauty of her spirit, her passion and conviction. As God would have it again, we became friends. We sat beside each other on the long trip. And she told me about her experiences. Her life as a fulltime worker. How God was faithful. How God provides. How God is using her to bless others. I asked about full time work. I was curious, I wanted to know more. I was engaged to know. I was inspired.
Flashback May 2005: I was covering Kids for Christ-GK Batang Bayani event in Clark Pampanga for the Entrep magazine. Again, I met fulltime workers. I remember it was the first time I asked about missionary work. I remember my questions, my apprehensions about it. I ask the the question, people commonly ask: How do you survive? Do you get paid? etc...mostly questions on financial concerns, money matters.
Yes, folks, we do get modest allowance that may be enough or barely enough depending on our priorities, how we spend, where we spend it, our needs, our obligations...which is pretty much the same for all working people ;) but God does provide amazingly! It is true what He said, "Seek first the Kingdom, and all these things will be added unto you..."
When one talks about GK or any other missionary work, we don't worry about money because it comes in any way, in any form...God is faithful to provide for our needs in amazing ways...It's all about love....GK started building without money...and it came...we just build and people come with God's provisions...
A year later in May 2006, as I left the GK office after that fateful waiting, I found myself volunteering, to edit the GK CDPs, sending through email. Then I found myself applying for the GK News Bureau, sending my resume, sending stories...
I felt called.
I was called.
From the very start, God had planted the seed of service in my heart. I thought he was calling me to be a nun but I also longed for a family of my own. So the struggle was there for a long time and for the past 3 years I really thought about these things, going to Mt. Carmel in Laoag where my Sister-Ninang was.
Until I read Bo Sanchez email, which was titled This One's for You, relating his struggle about knowing his vacation, what God wanted him to do. He came to a point where God asked him to remove all anxieties and fears and asked, What is it that you want? What your heart desires is what God wants...(read his How to Find your one true love, editor's note)
The chains of anxieties fell off my mind. And I knew what it was. I knew God wants me to be happy, to be free of all fears. And He wanted what would make me happy, for I was His child. And I...I wanted to have my own family, a good and whole (holy) family that would give Him glory and provide loving children to the world. I know God is love and He is faithful to fulfill my heart's desires, my hopes, my dreams.
I feel God had prepared me all this time for this moment in GK. I feel like a fish in the sea (unlike a fish out of the fish bowl...hehehe) I feel I belong here. And maybe, I really do. Praise God! God had equipped me with all that I need. He made me love my country so much that I feel that not only can I die for it, I could live for it...I could LIVE to work with passionate heroes to making his dream for the Philippines a reality. I am humbled and excited to see this come true. I will live to see God's goodness on earth, as King David puts it.
I know I am not perfect, so far from it. I am wounded mostly. But what an awesome God to use me in spite of my weaknesses... I never thought I would find myself here. But this is all I've ever wanted. wow, it just hit me today, I am officially a missionary. what a blessed gift and a privilege it is to serve God and my country.
She really can't remember what brought her here. It was as if a silent hand had held her all the way. But she was glad. Happy. She followed her heart. And she can only imagine the great journey that lies ahead....For we've only just began, says her awesome God...
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My Heart Song:
I have often dreamed
Of a far-off place
Where a hero's welcome
Would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer
When they see my face
And a voice keeps saying
This is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there someday
I can go the distance
I will find my way
If I can be strong
I know every mile
Will be worth my while
When I go the distance
I'll be right where I belong
Down an unknown road
To embrace my fate
Though that road may wander
It will lead me to You
And a thousand years
Would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime
But somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back
I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track
No, I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope
But I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance
And my journey is complete
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star
I will go the distance
I will search the world
I will face its harms
I don't care how far
I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms
I will search the world
I will face its harms
Till I find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms
Go the Distance --Hercules, Disney theme
Today is the feast day of the St. Therese of the Child Jesus, a Carmelite, and the Patron of Missions
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